Longer Than Expected

I am trying to remember what kind of headspace I was in when I first thought of this phrase. I was probably with a client who was talking about how their milestones are taking longer than expected. It got me thinking about my milestones as well.

My birthday is coming up soon and I used to hate celebrating it. Each solar return was a reminder that I was nowhere near where I wanted to be and I hated myself for it.

Each birthday reminded me of how invisible I was to the world. I figured if I didn’t commemorate my birth date then I could overlook that I was taking up space in a world I felt I didn’t earn.

I don’t want to go down memory lane because my 30s were more than just a dark night of the soul. It was the dark decade that we dare not name.

The moment I hit 40, it was like a fog was lifted and a light switch went on. I don’t make a big deal about my birthday but I don’t approach it with guilt and shame anymore.

Now I use the day to celebrate with self-care. I turn off my phone. I don’t schedule sessions. I take the day off to just exist. Living a day without a care in the world is the gift I give myself.

But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel off schedule. Everything about my life is reflected in my business even though I have done a decent job of compartmentalizing the two worlds. It’s why I don’t believe in work-life balance. It’s not one or the other and it shouldn’t have to be.

If you are magic as you are, why wouldn’t you want to sprinkle that mojo onto your business?

If your business is serving a greater purpose, why wouldn’t you want that passion reflected in your everyday life?

Life is taking longer than expected because I’ve allowed work to get in the way. Success is also taking longer than expected because I’ve let go of having to put life on the back burner.

So how do you navigate this grey area?

Maybe for you, it’s not so nuanced. You might have healthy boundaries that allow you to shut it off when needed.

It’s taken me years to organize my hot mess to watch all that emotional regulation go out the window after spending a few minutes on Twitter.

I secretly envy the people who look like they have their shit together. I don’t covet their discipline.

I swoon over their ability to hide the chaos.