Trying to Understand Where I Took The Wrong Left Turn

I’m always shifting moods and it reflects in my day-to-day. But my yo-yo of emotions is never more evident as it is with my choice of music selections.

Lately I’ve been going through phases of nostalgia, alternating between the doo-wop era, catchy disco music, soulful 80s jam and the forgettable 90s.

Think of a playlist that goes from the Platters to Michael Jackson to the Supremes to Debbie Gibson and then quietly on over to vintage Lil’ Kim.

My blasts from the past remind me of a time when life was simple, when I was simple and when my mind was clear of clutter.

At what point did things change?

There’s a saying that life often happens when you’re busy making other plans.

What happens when life happens despite you making other plans?

If you had asked me at 16, 25, 30 or even 35 that this is where I’d be at this point in my life I would have never predicted this.

If you had shown me a snapshot of where I’d end up I would have likely gotten the bottle of cyanide quicker than you can count to 5. Yet here I am, anticipating the next mercury retrograde cycle where I reflect on life and give myself time to envision something else.

Only my life has felt like it’s been in retrograde for a good portion of my 30s.

It’s as if I took a nap and never woke up and this lucid version of the latest decade in my life is just a trial run.

Eventually I’ll wake up and get to real version of my life, the one without nostalgia overwhelm.

Sometimes it helps to understand where the left was made so that we can either trace back or figure out a new way to reach our destination.

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